While the tortoise saga was unfolding, chaos erupted outside Sainsbury’s Local. A flock of ten parakeets—the same ones that have gone feral in London—decided to stage a coordinated attack on the outdoor fruit display. They were apparently after the avocados.
One bird flew off with a mango in its beak. A woman tried to shoo them away and accidentally knocked over a pyramid of Lucozade bottles. It sounded like the end of the world, but it was just a Tuesday in Ealing.
Local ornithologists are calling it “the gentlest riot of 2026.” I call it a protein-rich distraction.
