London’s Tube shuts down around midnight. By 1 a.m., it’s basically a giant metal snake taking a nap. This leaves you with three options: a night bus, a very expensive taxi, or walking home with kebab in hand.
Yes, the Night Tube exists. It runs on Fridays and Saturdays on select lines—the Victoria, Jubilee, and parts of the Central, Northern, and Piccadilly lines. That’s it. The rest of the week? Sweet dreams, commuters.
Why so stingy? Because maintenance crews need time to fix tunnels, scrub graffiti, and chase away the ghost rats. (Okay, not ghost rats. But regular rats—and they’re huge.)
But Wait—Is Any Line 24/7?
In London? No. Not even the Circle Line, which sounds like it should go in circles forever. But in New York, the subway runs all night. It’s a glorious, grimy, 24-hour miracle of late-night chaos.
Contrast that with Paris. The Métro stops around 1:15 a.m. and restarts at 5:30 a.m. You know what that means? More time for croissants and existential crises on a park bench.
Tokyo’s system stops around midnight, too. But they have capsule hotels for stranded drunks. Genius. London gives you a wet bench and a pigeon for company.
