First off, a huge chunk of The Shard is just offices. Yes, boring, adult stuff. People in suits sit up there, staring at spreadsheets while pretending not to notice the incredible view of the Thames. It’s like working in a glass treehouse, except your boss can see you from literally every angle.
But here’s a shocker: the offices start at floor 2 and go up to floor 28. That’s twenty-six floors of pure corporate energy. If you work there, you might accidentally lock eyes with a seagull while discussing quarterly profits. Awkward.
Hotel California (But in London and Twice as Pointy)
Floors 34 to 52 are home to the Shangri-La Hotel. That’s right—a five-star hotel floating in the clouds. You can sleep in a room that costs more per night than your rent for a month. But the real treat? The bathrooms have floor-to-ceiling windows. You can brush your teeth while looking down at tiny, ant-like people. Feel like a god? Good. Just don’t forget to close the curtains, unless you want to give the entire city a free show.
Fun fact: the hotel’s infinity pool on the 52nd floor is one of the highest in Europe. It’s so high up that when you swim, your brain thinks you’re about to fly off into the sunset. Vertigo, anyone?
