Here’s the humorous part: during one of the investigations, the police actually interviewed a man who was completely naked and screaming at a MP. That’s right—a full-on streaker with political opinions. Turns out, streaking isn’t a hate crime unless you’re specifically targeting someone’s gender or ethnicity with your birthday suit. The police let him off with a warning and a “please put on some trousers” note. You can’t make this up.
Another case involved a group of teenagers who chanted “All cops are bastards” at the far-right rally. The Met had to investigate because some officer on duty felt “targeted.” But here’s the twist: the same chant is also used at music festivals, soccer matches, and family reunions. It’s basically the UK’s national anthem for people who just missed their train. The investigation was dropped for lack of “hostile intent.” Translation: teens being teens, just with worse spray tans.
The Surprising Statistics: Hate Crimes Are Up, But So Is Snitching
Here’s a jaw-dropper: reported hate crimes in London hit an all-time high in 2026, with over 12,000 incidents. But get this—more than half were later “no-crimed” or dropped because they were, in police speak, “not quite crimey enough.” It’s like the city suddenly discovered that yelling at someone in traffic can be a hate crime if you use the wrong curse word. I’m surprised nobody’s been arrested for giving a dirty look to a pigeon.
Pro-Palestinian March Held in London as Police Scuffle With Far Right
The Met’s own report on these rallies admitted that “many complaints were based on misunderstandings, rival chants, and people just being offended by loud noises.” One complaint was literally about a man who “looked at me funny while waving a Palestinian flag.” The police officer wrote in the report: “The complainant was unable to describe the look in detail. Investigation concluded.” I imagine that officer is now writing a novel titled “The Case of the Mysterious Glare.”
