The marketing material says “Active Ageing.” I thought that meant maybe a gentle walk to the bird feeder. Wrong. I walked in to find a resident named Brian teaching a Tai Chi class while balancing a coffee mug on his head. He was not struggling. He was judging my posture.
And the activities schedule? It reads like a festival lineup for people with very refined tastes and low patience for nonsense. You have “Historical Hat-Making,” followed by “Fierce Debate Club: Is Toast Better Hot or Cold?” The answer, by the way, is warm, and if you disagree, Margaret from Room 12 will politely, but fiercely, dismantle your entire worldview.
The Kitchen: A Culinary Black Ops Unit
Forget “mushy peas and sadness.” The chef here, a man named Gary who looks like a retired rock drummer, runs a kitchen that makes Gordon Ramsay look like a nervous intern. The surprising fact? Gary uses wasabi in the mashed potatoes. Not enough to burn your face off, but enough to wake up your taste buds. “Keeps the young doctors on their toes,” he told me with a wink.
I sat down for lunch with a table of residents. One woman, Doris, was eating a salmon en croute that looked like it belonged on a MasterChef plate. She saw me staring and said, “If you’re going to be old, you might as well do it with hollandaise.” I could not argue. I ordered a second helping of the apple crumble. It had a secret layer of salted caramel. Genius.
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