You now have a pile of turkey parts. Pat them dry with paper towels. Dry skin makes crispy skin. Season them, roast them, or grill them. The best part? Each piece cooks at its own pace, so you don’t get dry breasts and raw legs—a Thanksgiving miracle.
One last surprising fact: The average raw turkey has a core temperature colder than a hockey rink, but it’s surprisingly slippery. You will probably almost drop it at least three times. That’s the rule. If you don’t almost lose a bird to gravity, you didn’t try hard enough. Now go. Conquer the poultry. And for the love of all that is holy, wash your cutting board with bleach when you’re done. Your future self—and your guests—will thank you.
