Now you know the dramatic arc of food poisoning. It’s a play, a comedy, a tragedy. Mostly a comedy, if you have a dark sense of humor.
Next time you feel that first cramp, remember: You’re not just sick. You’re participating in a ancient ritual of survival. Your ancestors went through this with mammoth meat. You’re carrying the torch.
So, be brave. Hydrate. Avoid the leftover turkey. And if you see a second helping of mashed potatoes? Run. But also smile. Because now you’re part of a deliciously gross club called “Humans who ate a bird and lived to tell the tale.”
You’re welcome. And feel better.
