Oh, it will be close. Because we’re the Lions. We don’t do boring blowouts. We do heart-stopping, nail-biting, “please don’t let them score” endings. It’s part of the charm.
If it’s tied with two minutes left, stay off your phone. No group chats. No score updates. Just breathe. And maybe grip your couch cushion a little too hard. That’s normal.
Have a stress snack ready. Something crunchy. Celery, carrots, or those chips that make a loud crunch. It helps channel the anxiety. Trust me, it’s science. Probably.
Post-Game: Win or Lose
Win? Amazing. You’re floating on air. Call your dad. Text your friend who’s a Packers fan. Bask in the glow of 1-0 for that week.
Lose? It happens. It’s just a game. (Even though it feels like the end of the world for about four hours.) Do not tweet angrily at a player. Walk around the block. Pet a dog. Reassess life.
Either way, you did it. You survived another Saturday Lions game. You showed up. You cared. That’s what being a fan is all about. See you next week—same time, same chaos.
Now go set that alarm for 12:45 PM. You’ve got a game to watch. 🦁
