Naturally, the entire South West rail network ground to a halt. Thousands of people were delayed, and a poor soul named Susan from Reading missed her dentist appointment to fix a chipped tooth from biting a too-hard biscuit. The irony is thick enough to spread on toast.
The train driver, a man named Barry with a mustache older than the train itself, reportedly said, “I’ve seen pigeons with more coordination.” Barry then sipped his tea and called it a day. Legend.
VIDEO: Shocking moment 'utterly stupid' passenger jumps on tracks in
Surprising Fact #1: The Train Was Actually a Hero
Did you know that modern trains have emergency brakes that can stop in the length of a football field? This one stopped in about 30 meters, which is basically a miracle. The man didn’t even get a scratch—just a bruised ego and a damp hat.
In fact, the only injury reported was a pigeon that got startled and flew into a sign. The pigeon is fine, by the way, and is now planning a lawsuit for defamation of character.
