First up, the group stage. This is where we convince ourselves we’re going to win the whole thing. Absolutely no jinxing it, of course.
England’s first game is usually a Monday or a Tuesday in mid-June. You know the drill: you’ll be at work, refreshing a live blog, and pretending you’re “just checking a spreadsheet.”
The second group match? That’s the one where we start feeling confident. It’s often a Friday or Saturday, which is perfect for a barbecue and a cold pint. Just don’t burn the sausages when we score.
And the third game? Oh, the final group match. This is where the maths gets tricky. Will we need a draw? A win? A miracle? The date is usually a Tuesday or Wednesday—right in the middle of the week, because the football gods hate us.
The Knockouts: When Your Heart Stops
Now we’re talking. The knockout rounds are where legends are made. And where your blood pressure skyrockets.
The Round of 16 typically falls on a weekend or a Monday. You’ll have time to paint your face, put on that lucky shirt you haven’t washed since 2018, and scream at the TV.
The quarter-finals? Those are Friday or Saturday night games. Absolutely electric atmosphere. You’ll be convinced this is the year—right up until the penalty shootout starts.
The semi-final is a Tuesday or Wednesday—late in the week. You know the drill: you’ll call in “sick” the next morning. Your boss knows. We all know.
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And then, the final. Oh, the final. It’s always a Sunday. A glorious, stress-inducing, nation-stopping Sunday. You’ll wake up at 8 AM in a cold sweat, and by 4 PM, you’ll be either a hero or a mess.
